fallin for u

thats what kalef told me. he said he falls for me bad .... WOW ... thats intense.
so i guess were dating now, and this morning he asked me to be his date for prom ... i told him i was probably gonna go with katie and rachel, but idk, i guess were still going together somehow.
he keeps on telling me how im perfect and great and beautiful ... its crazy ...
and he told me hes falling for me ... boha

...

ive been pretty sick the last past days, i felt like crap and it wouldnt go away. i think im just exhausted, as all i did the last days was sleep ... i wake up and the room ist spinning, and my head hurts like a bitch. it sucks big time. i dont think im gonna go to the game tomorrow ....

im a little pissed at maria ... she went shopping, and she bought clothes that look exactely like mine. i mean, thats fine, but she keeps on borrowing my clothes too and in school she tells everyone how WE wear EACH OTHERS clothes. which is not true at all. I mean, she thinks im wearing flared jeans just because she does. thats bull shit, i dont, i wear them because i like them and because they are comfortable. I have never ever borrowed any of her clothes, i dont like her clothes .... im not trying to be like her ... she was the one who coloured her hair the color i did. she is the one who tries to wear her make up like i do. she is the one who started listening to the music i listen to. and then she tells everyone how i really like her style and all that. it makes me angry, it makes me look as if i cant speak for myself and be myself. i didnt change at all because of her, and now, that i finally found a style i like, shes tryin to take it away from her.
She is always there ... 24/7. we go to school together, she follows me around after school, we eat together. i try to spend time with my friends but she includes herself ....
well but now shes becoming a prep, so i guess shell have her own cool friends soon. its funny, i mean you would think everyone would like to be a prep, but i really dont care much for it. i mean, i could become one if i wanted to, i get along with those people, but the friends i really care about are the stoners and unpopular kids. they are down to earth, their daddy doesnt pay for everything they do, and they dont care about where you buy your clothes.
fuck that stupid clique system.
i mean, not all the preps are stupid, kalef is one, but he is not arrogant and he doesnt wear hollister every single day.
maria is trying to change herself for vince and all the other popular kids, its her choice, but i dont respect her for trying to fit in. she was perfectly fine with the stoners, but she wants to be popular ... thats fine ...
bah i guess im just talking so much shit about her now, because i never said anything before. Fact is, is that i dont agree with her behaviour and with how she treats me. she thinks that i need to be saved, and i need to be brought back on the right path, because im lost ... blablabla. fuck that. i dont believe in god and i wont . period. and its not like i have no idea about whats going on, i do have my own opinion and im able to express it. it just makes me angry how she thinks she is better than be just because she has been saved by jesus ... blablabla

rachel is down though, she is awesome. i love the way she thinks, she thinks the same way as i do about stuff , and i love having discussions with her.

its ok i guess, ill get over maria, but its hard being pissed and not saying anything ...
and now she is friends with k too, so i cant vent about it to him ....

whatever ... i guess im just in a bad mood because ive had a fuckin headache all day long ...

uh , i wanna go shopping ... maybe ill try ordering stuff from the internet, i found some pretty cool clothes on some page ....

PEACE