back home ...

and it doesnt feel like home. it sucks. my mom is being a bitch, my brothers are rude, and being away from kalef is killing me. the only thing thats going good is my friends, i was really happy to see them again and to hang out and stuff. Maybe kalef is gonna come see me at the 23rd, Maria backed out, i figured that ... But my mom is using him visiting as a new thing to blackmail me with. it seems like everything is back to how it was before, and i hate it. i tried to talk to my mom like a normal person, but its just not possible. she brings out the worst in me and i hate her so much for that. she could not even be nice to me for 3 days. its ridiculous. we fight all the time and im turning back into the psycho bitch i was before i left, and i dont wanna be her any more. ive grown up so much but it seems like theres no way i can treat my mom like an adult. its soo horrible. she acts the same way she always did and she leaves me no choice. i cannot talk to her at all. and she promised me that we were going to be ok and our relationship would get better but it seems like she doesnt wanna make any effort and thats so frustrating. i wish i could just go back and live in new mexico forever.
today she called kalef and told him that all i do is lie. she crossed a border. of course she always crosses borders, but this one is inacceptable. i mean calling my boyfriend without my permission? i am so pissed, i wish i could pay her back...

the last days

gosh, i cannot believe its over ...
i mean it seems like yesterday when i got here ...
im gonna miss it so o o o o much ...
well tomorrow were gonna have a sleepover at katies house , just to say goodbye .. i guess theres gonna be a lot of candy, a lot of crying, a little pot and a lot of drinking ... perfect sleepover, except for the crying part ... haha
then thursday ks nana is gonna cook for me, mexican dinner , yay ... its gonna be gooood.
friday were gonna go on our last date .. isnt that sooo sad ... it is truly.
saturday idk yet ...
and sunday is the day ... bah im dreading it.
today kalef ganve me his classring ... thats huge, i was sooo happy.
were pretty positive hes gonna be able to come see me at christmas ... it will be soooo awesome
uh, i gotta go, im tired ...
love yall
peace out

Before i forget

i shot a gun the day before yesterday.
my favorite was the rifle, and the 25. didnt shoot kalefs 22, too loud ...
my ears were ringing...

BBBBBBBBYYYYYYAAAAAAAATCH

i am pissed ... once again....

so my curfew has been 9 pm lately and i didnt like it cuz i mean, hello, 17 days left ....?!
so whenever i wanted to stay a little longer, vic, kalefs mom, called mark and asked him to let me stay. it has been fine till now. this morning i walk out of my room, sleepy, in a good mood, and there is kim waiting for me in the kitchen, with that look on her face i hate. and she doesnt even say good morning to me, but starts yelling at me imediately. if kalefs parents call one more time they will go there and get me, dont i dare to try to stay longer ... blablabla. very rude ...
i really hate them right now. i mean they know i want to spend as much time with kalef and his family as possible , and i only have 2 weeks left really . and its summer time. i dont have to go to school anymore ...

being at kalefs house is awesome for me cuz i really dont want to be around people who are that materialistic, rude, and conceeded. i can tell that kim doesnt like me being around. she thinks im the bad kid, which is ironic, cuz maria has been fucking guys for three years now. and she obviously also thinks im like mentally retarded or something, special aid ... she thinks im less intelligent than her for some reason, so she thinks i dont get the hints she drops all the time. . . it pisses me off ...

well at least i have vic to gossip with. we talk crap about people all the time and its so great to vent! she doesnt like my family at all and she thinks maria is a spoiled brat.
she was so cute yesterday. she said, if kalef and i are meant to be together, we will be, and she thinks we are, because our relationship is so natural ... it means a lot to me that she is so supportive. she tries to get me out of this house as much as possible so i can go do stuff ... and she sees me crying, so she tries even more. shes so nice. and she cracks me up too lol, shes this little mexican lady with a temper ...

well i gotta get ready, were going hiking today yay ...