merry christmas

just finished unwrapping my presents ... it was cool ... i got hannah montana socks lol. mark is so funny.
well the last past days were pretty much like all days. i went shopping on saturday yay .... got cool stuff and the last christmaspresents i needed. gotta sent them tomorrow ... i guess im a little late but i dont think thats bad ...
tomorrow houston .... im excited. the only problem is that i ll have to be a little careful with spending money as my mom got really mad about how much i spent the last month .... that sucks i dont even know where it goes it s like it just flows through my fingers ... uh mom said she was dissappointed in me that sucks ..... sorry stinks. kim doesnt want me to say suck, so im gonna have to get used to saying stinks lol.
hugs stopped .... dumbass .... lalalala im over it though.
coach is getting nicer and nicer love his sense of humour its hilarious.
i think the team is getting better even though we still stink - ...!- but they started listening more closely to what coach is saying so thats cool.
i told him he should motivate them better and tell them that he doesnt hate them, but he said yeah he does so that didnt work. he told them that he thinks they are getting better though i think that was good. we had 3 other players quitting and i think he knows that he needs to make practise more fun...
well i still have to pack my suitcase so i guess im gonna go
hoe yeah
merry christmas

chim chim chim

singing ......
lalala
i love it ....
we just came home from laguna , we won and it was awesome ....
i did the book without any mistakes and it was all cool.
im starting to really get to know all of the players, i know them all by their names and numbers, did i already tell that? well that doesnt matter because it was a big deal for me not to know them and just being a manager without really knowing whats going on, and now its completely different .....
uahaha im getting a lot more selfconfident, not so much blushing any more, my english is really good, so im not afraid to talk any more either....
uh im still afraid of something really bad to happen or me to fuck up, that would be so bad, i would die.
got lots of hugs today lalalala awesomegreat ... uh hotness :)
well tomorrow theres gonna be another game in laguna, so i get out of school at 10 .. awesome ... the only problem is, that this time were riding the same bus as the girls varsity and that sucks, because those bitches are destracting the guys and all they think about is how they can hook up with the girls instead of concentrating. man... i mean, i am not even kidding, bitches is the right word, i dont know not one girl on the varsity that is not ...
well anyways, today was great, the cool thing is, since everything is going so good i get up so easily and thats good...
well i think thats it for today ...
uhm yah what i wanted to say .... crownpoint players are ugly and lagunas lockerrooms stink ... literally.

hyper

yay,
this is marks computer and now i got internet. its awesome.
lol everything is going so great, its ridiculus, im just waiting for something bad to happen that brings me down .... well but so far it hasnt happened.
in basketball i just recently got upgraded and its awesome. i finally know every player by their names and they know me and we joke around and stuff, its fun...
uh and i am developing a crush on this guy, uhhhh hotness ..... lalala
for christmas i got myself a fish, his name is mister paul mccartney and he is great. i wanted to teach him tricks but he didnt wanna coorperate, what a bitch ....
uh tomorrow were going to the laguna turnament, i hope for the team that they dont fuck up because if they do, the coach is gonna make them run suicides again and that is sad ... today it was 22 ... i would have died already.
today and the last past days i was alone, katie and mario werent there, aj quit, and javier isnt doing anything anyways.
school is easy ...
family is chilled.
oh the great grandpa died, sad story, the whole family was crying.
uh on saturday there is the winter ball . i got this really hot dress uhhhhhhhh.... its black and has gray leo on it ..... blablabla.
well i guess thats it for today, im gonna have time on sunday again, meaning, ill be on.

so i talked to thi today, for the first time since ive been here, and it was great. i didnt realize how much i miss all the guys, but i do. i know that sounds funny, but it feels good when people tell me that they miss me, i always thought they would just say it, i thought i would be out of their life, completely, out of sight... i hope i am not that would be aweful...
right now i feel strange, because it is going so great here and i know it is a great experience and i would never trade it, but on the other hand it would be fine with me to just quit and go back, i wouldnt feel bad i think. of course i dont know but i think so.
i am just horrified i could come back and have changed so much my friends dont like me anymore. or they realize they have more fun without me... well this is pathetic, i should not even let myself get homesick just like that, it is going great here and the family is so sweet and kind and i met some nice people, i should just not think about how it would be if i wouldnt have come any more and be aware of that i am here now and it will help me accomplish so much. i know that. i know that i will come back and never ever regret this...
ok this is enough with the sentimental bullshit...
i got a mail from my dad today, finally, i thought he was mad at me, but turns out he just couldnt reach me.
i wrote this mail and then regreted it and apologized but i guess it was too late... well probably my mail was just part of it, i dont think it came out of nowhere, but still i feel bad.

oh yesterday i died my hair, i am brunette again, it is great ... haha tyler was all whyyyyyyyyy... but i think it looks a lot better than being a strange blonde... uh he got snaketeeth, awesome, it looks hot, too bad he is too young, man ... lol

today i cleaned my room, it looks a lot better now, lol, kim walked in and she said "wow, i can see the floor" i love how she doesnt care if its messy and makes fun about it but then also tells me, how good it is i cleaned up.

well anyways, i decided to throw the biggest party ever when im back, i think i need it lol.

happy

this is just perfect.
today i got up at seven, then i talked to my mom and my brother, i had some breakfast and then we drove into abq. we just went to walmart and then had lunch at olive garden, oh and kim and marc had a doctors appointment, something about their bones, idk...
when we came back i got ready and then kim gave me a ride to the gym. when i was there i first took the inventory of all medications and stuff, and then talked to the coach, and he explained to me, how the whole system works, and which trikots the players wear. it was great, i had fun and i am actually startin to get better at it and to understand what my tasks are. i wasnt that sad that katie wasnt there, it was still not boring, allthough it would have been even more fun with her ... well anyways, after i was done, kim came to get me... then at home i was just watching tv and eating icecream. then nick texted me if i wanted to watch a movie, so at 9 30 he came to pick me up and we watched get smart at trishas. it was hilarious...
it is awesome how i am allowed to do so many things, i am really happy here.

basketball managing ... yay

first of all, i love you thi... :) thanks for being so supportive ...
yesterday at pe the coach asked me if i wanted to manage the varsity and jv boys basketballteams with katie, of course i said yes. it is awesome, i am officially part of the team now... i am in charge of the dresses, the balls, first aid kit, clock, ... it is a lot of work and important but also great fun. and all the other bitches are jealous cuz we get to see the varsity boys and they dont lol. for a fact, they do look better than the others ... haha
well anyways, i have to stay after school now every day for the practise, till 5 30, but thats cool, it isnt too boring.
i also talked to mr carson today about the presentations im supposed to do in the elementary school, and the week after thanksgiving im gonna be there and talk to grade 3 through 6. blabla i hope i wont blush like i always do ... lol
so when i was sitting in my chair with the clock today, i got a text, from some friend from maria and trisha, asking me if i wanted to watch a movie tonight... so i called kim and asked her and she said yes, yay. so at nine nick came to take me to trishas, and we watched baby mom, hilarious... that dude is pretty cute ...
my curfew was 12 but i was home by 11 30, im being a goody goody girl lol, but i think it will be really helpful later.
today also marias boyfriend came so she wasnt there all day long... he seemes nice but i didnt really talk to him yet.
tomorrow im gonna go into abq with kim, shopping, but ill have to be at the gym by three, basketball practise... maria is gonna spend the day with her boyfriend, im really happy that her parents dont expect us to stick together all the time, its great.
oh and then there was this strange thing with sam last week ... hes the one who tried to steal a harley, supposely in self defense, how stupid does he think i am ...? well anyways, he just started texting me he liked my hair, and then he randomly started talking about he is thinking about me because he doesnt want me to leave ... him ... lol, so i told him, because i thought he was joking, that he should just come back with me... then he started flipping, all he wants to ask me out really bad but he doesnt want me to say no, so i told him i would, cuz i know hes a cheater, so he was all, he isnt and anyways im different and he really likes me and other shit ... it went on for like one hour and it was kinda scary... however, now he texts me four times a day, good morning, during school whats up, afternoon whats up and good night or are you awake ... it is kinda annoying but also funny...
uh and i gotta write a mail to my dad, cuz his girlfriend wrote me a strange mail titled adieu, saying she couldnt take it any more, and that it was nice knowing me. im not sad about her leaving im just worried something happened cuz of the rude mail i wrote him. anyways hes better without her...
so i guess you could say, that all my problems are gone, i can do whatever i want, as long as i check in every now and then and they know who im with and thats no problem, as they know all the people in etown and are related to most of them.

finally moved ...

so yesterday night i moved to marias family. i was really afraid of not having a good family again but that was pointless, it is awesome....
but i gotta start at the beginning. i came home from school yesterday and i was about to start to clean my room and i had already packed my bags and put them next to the door ... so when i came home i saw that they stood there differently but i didnt think it meant something so i just cleaned the room. after we had supper, the chief came and we put my stuff in his new truck, nice, and he started talking to tommy and laverne and i just stood there like someone forgot me ... finally we left and i gave both tommy and laverne a hug and i thought everything was just fine... when i came to marias house, marc came outside and said hello and then we went in and there were maria and kim, they were totally sweet and kind and i felt better. then i started unpacking my luggage and i wondered because in there there was strange stuff, dust and hairs and dirt, and i didnt put it in there. i finally figured that laverne must have put it in there, first, because i didnt put it in there, and second because i found clothes from shelly, their granddaughter. so i dont know what exactely the point with doing that was, probably some kind of revenge, but i dont care, im outta there and i am happy about it and if they want to be that immature and disrespectful i dont have no problem with that, however i never disrespected them, i never swore, i never disrespected their rules and so.
so i got up this morning after i slept really good the first time without freezing in a long time... yay
i took a shower and got ready, then i had breakfast with orange juice, then i had some relaxing time and then we went to school. school was ok.
when we came home, we didnt do anything and i felt kinda strange, so i just went to my room and read im starfieber , lol that was great, and then maria told me that trisha, our neighbour was gonna come at seven and pick us up and we were gonna go to the gasstation in estancia and get a movie and go watch it at trishas house. so that was what we did and it was so great, i forgot how it is to be able to go out on weeknights and to ride a car without an adult and just cruise around and stuff. it was awesome.
so i met trishas mom and it was great and we watched zohan and ate banana bread. well the movie was funny but it would have been a lot better if there was not that much stuff about his dick, it was funny once in the beginning but it got old and annoying, not the dick but the joke lol
so now im back home sitting at my bed really happy because they have wireless and so i can type on my laptop and thats cool.
at the weekend, marias boyfriend will come and they are gonna spend some time together, and marc is gonna be working, so kim and me will go shopping on saturday yay and on sunday well go to church cuz they sing in the quire.
tomorrow ill go to ians house after school and come back after youth. it is kinda funny, i really appreciate people allowing me stuff now after tommy so i guess thats a good thing.
my point is, im really happy now and i hope it stays that good.

shit

so yesterday my hostmom found out that i want to change. this is what happened, the chief called to talk to me, she picked up the phone and he told her thinking she already knew. so she came in my room and said, the chief wanted to talk to me, and i could tell from the look on her face, that she knew. so i went to the phone and talked to him, and basically what he said was that i have to tell tommy, to still respect them and stuff and that he can have me moved by thanksgiving. he says he has to make a backroundcheck and have an interview with my new family, marias, by the way. so after i talked to him, i tried to talk to laverne, but she was just smiling at me with that strange mean smile of hers and so i was totally insecure. also, i didnt want to say anything that would upset her, so i said, the situation was not right and that i am sure that they are great hostparents for ilyas but just not for me. she was all like, there is no situation, what are you talking about? so i just said sorry one more time and went away. in my room i started packing and cried ... man its so hard, to be in this house, knowing exactely, that she hates me and that ilyas is there pretending he doesnt see me and so on.
well anyways, im just gonna be so happy when im outta here, i cant stand it. i hate the whole atmosphere, the coldness and stuff. this sounds so melodramatic but its true...

so today we had carreer day, it was mostly boring, except from the ladies from the fbi and from the chef, he basically said that its an easy life and you make a lot of money... so im thinking bout that haha

well i guess thats all

completely new

so this is whats new,
my nice hostfamily forgot my birthday, they told me i wasnt home so they couldnt tell me happy birthday, but that is so lame, i mean, its not too hard to at least write a card or so, for lavs birthday i made a cake, with a sugarheart on it, man, and a card... and it didnt kill me ...
our little clique is starting to break apart, ian is being an immature ass and sofie is turning into a whore, sleeping around, smoking and skipping school, but jella is coming back and dee, ryans sister is really cool.
other than that theres katie, my sister deeper than blood ( friday night, after second shot lol), and hundreds of other people lol, its kinda funny i know almost everybody in school, thats that system, it makes me meet more people than ol germany .....
so this is what happened my birthday, i got up and went to school, in biology, first period, azaria and avery brought me a cake and coke haha funny, and mrs tully found happy birthday videos on youtube... after school we went to ians house cuz of youth .... haha we watched a hula video, for little kids, but we had fun.
i stopped going to youth, tommy doesnt want me to, it sucks, he allows me to do something on the weekend, but just if i skip youth. i feel like thats trading for my freedom, which is really retarded...
so then there was halloween, i went with katie after school, we went to walmart to complete my costume, haha i looked great, i was wearing a nun costume , cut off way above my knee, hippie tights, high boots, and a blue wig ... i got called a hooker 3 times .... bitches
manny, katies boyfriend took us to the courthouse, cuz katie couldnt walk very well cuz she twisted her ankle in pe... so he took us there and in a blond moment he locked his keys in the car, so we had to wait for one hour for idk his name, who broke it open in a heartbeat.... he promised me to show me how he did it, i believe it could be useful to know that ... lol
well after that, we finally went trick or treating, it was fun but we were late and so we just got the leftovers.... so we went to ians house for the party his parents had, it was fun ...
uhm and then friday we went on an art field trip to abq to the fairgrounds, it was fun, i like those field trips, the food is good ... so when we came back, i went to katies house with her, i stayed there till today 2 pm cuz tommy is hunting somewhere in nebraska and hes coming back no earlier than next weekend, and lav doesnt leave her room, so he could come and get me after the footballgame. well thats what they think, actually we stayed home and played drinking games ... uh i really hope my mom doesnt read this id be in trouble lol
so katie got drunk for the first time, which was kinda funny, cuz she started to roll all over the floor .... haha
well than on saturday she had a major hangover, but anyways we went to abq to meet chris, the other german , lucky bastard, hell get his drivers permit, and i wont, plus he lives in abq and i dont ... so we went to the movies and watched madagascar 2, it was hilarious, i almost died, but the whole situation with katie and chris was so weird that i didnt ... thank god? well i guess i have to explain that ... katies car is really messy and it looks old and stuff, and chris is kind of a dick, so the first thing he said was uh that is a fucked car ... so she got all bitchy probably cuz this car is her baby and then he thought she didnt like him, so that was why it was weird ... so after the movies we went to chilis, expensive but gooood , and then we went home ....
well this morning i talked to my mom and she is so nice, man. its so good to talk to everybody, cuz im starting to get homesick all the time im at home and noone talks to me ....
so then i talked to my brothers and they told me that eva acted like a enormous bitch again, she locked the boys in a room and started smoking, fucking bitch something is gonna happen to her if she doesnt start treating my brothers like shit... i guess im getting really protective, but i dont care, she has to change. ill take care of that.
fucking pussy
so i guess thats whats new ...
oh yeah im thinkin a lot about which family i wanna live in , i think maria, i got both of her parents telling me they really want me, and i know that their house is a lot cleaner than katies, plus, katie is really moody sometimes, and i dont like that ... i mean, you dont have to get all bitchy just because you dont like the movie were watching .... and its not like im telling her what movie, shes the one who decides .... well anyways dont get me wrong i love her and she really is my sister deeper than blood ....
so i gotta talk to maria on monday or so, cuz hopefully ill have a meeting with the chief on saturday next weekend...