so i talked to thi today, for the first time since ive been here, and it was great. i didnt realize how much i miss all the guys, but i do. i know that sounds funny, but it feels good when people tell me that they miss me, i always thought they would just say it, i thought i would be out of their life, completely, out of sight... i hope i am not that would be aweful...
right now i feel strange, because it is going so great here and i know it is a great experience and i would never trade it, but on the other hand it would be fine with me to just quit and go back, i wouldnt feel bad i think. of course i dont know but i think so.
i am just horrified i could come back and have changed so much my friends dont like me anymore. or they realize they have more fun without me... well this is pathetic, i should not even let myself get homesick just like that, it is going great here and the family is so sweet and kind and i met some nice people, i should just not think about how it would be if i wouldnt have come any more and be aware of that i am here now and it will help me accomplish so much. i know that. i know that i will come back and never ever regret this...
ok this is enough with the sentimental bullshit...
i got a mail from my dad today, finally, i thought he was mad at me, but turns out he just couldnt reach me.
i wrote this mail and then regreted it and apologized but i guess it was too late... well probably my mail was just part of it, i dont think it came out of nowhere, but still i feel bad.

oh yesterday i died my hair, i am brunette again, it is great ... haha tyler was all whyyyyyyyyy... but i think it looks a lot better than being a strange blonde... uh he got snaketeeth, awesome, it looks hot, too bad he is too young, man ... lol

today i cleaned my room, it looks a lot better now, lol, kim walked in and she said "wow, i can see the floor" i love how she doesnt care if its messy and makes fun about it but then also tells me, how good it is i cleaned up.

well anyways, i decided to throw the biggest party ever when im back, i think i need it lol.